What I Never Knew I Always Wanted
by Shannon1991xo
Summary: I didn't know there was a hole, something missing in my soul til you filled it up with your love
1. Newborn

'Hey, you...' Carla whispers softly as she lifts Freddie out of his co-sleeper and into her arms. She glances at the clock before carrying him through to the nursery. It's a little after 5:30am and Nick is still sleeping soundly in bed. She sits down on the glider and drapes a large blue polka dot print blanket over both her and Freddie as she pulls her top down allowing her son to latch on.

'What are we going to do today, little one? It's daddy's first day back at work and I've got you all to myself... We could go for a walk, maybe have some lunch at Roy's.' She says glancing down at the seven day old infant.

At only one week old Freddie has already became the centre of both Carla and Nick's world. Carla, who was once so sure she'd be back at work as soon as possible, is now considering how much time she can take off without it seeming over the top. Nick, who spent months worrying that he couldn't love anyone nearly as much as he loves Carla, was completely overwhelmed by love when the placed his son his arms.

'Mummy's tired, Freddie...' Carla mumbles as she yawns.

'In fact, mummy's exhausted but your perfect little face makes it all worth while. You make everything worth while.' She says smiling down at him.

'All the sickness, all the pain, all those months of getting fat... None of that matters now that I've got you here in my arms.' She adds.

* * *

'That's me leaving.' Nick says as he sits on the edge of the bed.

'I'm going to miss you...' Carla admits placing her hand on his cheek as she keeps Freddie cradled against her chest.

'I'll get back as soon as I can babe but the inspectors are coming and-' He begins.

'Nick, it's fine. I'll be okay on my own... I can cope, you know.' She replies smiling.

'I know. I don't doubt that you can but you're still recovering and I wanted to be here for you.' He says.

'I know you do and you have been. You've been amazing this past week but we both know you have to go back to work at some point.' She replies causing him to sigh.

'I didn't plan to go back this quickly. I thought two, maybe three weeks off after he was born.' Nick says.

'We'll still be here when you get back from work, Nick. Maybe we could do something as a family? Go to the Rovers for a drink or we could cuddle up on the sofa with a film?' She suggests as Freddie pulls away from her breast.

'That sounds good, great even... Promise me you'll phone me if you need me.' He says watching as she begins to burp Freddie.

'I promise.' She replies.

'Okay... I'm gonna go and I'll be back as soon as I can.' He says leaning down to kiss her.

'Can you take the pram down and pop it in the car? I might take Freddie for a walk later and I don't want to have to manage the pram and him downstairs.' She asks.

'Of course I can.' He replies smiling. He kisses the top of Freddie's head and smiles at Carla.

'I love you.' She says and he nods his head.

'I know you do... I love you too.' He replies.

'Now get to work Tilsley or else the place might fall apart.' She says causing him to laugh.

'I'll bring you back a brownie or two.' He replies before turning and making his way out the bedroom door.

* * *

'Where shall we go first? I'd suggest we go see daddy but we don't want to interrupt him when those big bad inspectors are in, do we?' Carla says smiling as she places Freddie in his pram.

'Auntie Carla?' A familar voice says causing her to turn around.

'Ryan! When did you get back?' She asks instantly hugging him.

'Yesterday.' He replies.

'Why did no one tell me? I would've came straight over to see you.' She says.

'I wanted to surprise you. Plus mum said you'd kinda wanted to keep visitors to a minimum for the first week or so.' He replies.

'You are one visitor that I would never turn away. What are you up to?' She asks.

'I was actually just coming to see you.' He replies and she smiles.

'Well why don't we go to Roy's and get some lunch? I'd suggest the Bistro but they've got some inspectors coming and I don't want to distract Nick.' She says and he smiles.

'Sounds great.' He replies. They quickly make their way to the cafe and sit down at a table in the corner.

'What do you want Auntie Carla? I'm buying.' Ryan says as Carla peeks into the pram at Freddie.

'Don't be silly, Ry... I'll get it.' She replies looking up at him.

'Auntie Carla, I'm buying lunch so what are you having?' He asks.

'Just a ham salad roll and a coffee please.' She replies smiling.

'Okay.' He says making his way to the counter.

* * *

'So do I get to meet this little guy?' Ryan asks gesturing to the pram.

'Of course.' She replies smiling. She stands up and carefully lifts Freddie into her arms.

'This is Freddie Nicholas Tilsley. He was born on the 1st of January and weighed 6lbs 9oz.' She says placing the little boy in her nephew's arms.

'He's beautiful Auntie Car... How are things with Nick? Are you happy?' He asks and she smiles.

'I am, Ryan... I'm happier than I've been in a long time.' She replies sitting back down and sipping her coffee.

'I'm glad. Nick seems like a good guy from what mum's told me.' He says and she nods her head.

'He is, Ryan... He really is.' She replies.

'Anyway... Are you going to be here for my wedding?' She asks as she glances down at Freddie.

'Of course I will.' He replies and she smiles.

'Good because I was wondering... Would you walk down the aisle with me, Ryan?' She asks.

'What? Are you being serious?' He asks and she nods her head.

'If you don't want to that's fine. I was going to ask Roy but I'd really like you to do it.' She replies and he smiles.

'Then I'd love to.' He says.

* * *

'Sweetheart? Where are you?' Nick asks as he makes his way into the flat.

'The nursery.' His fiancée replies. Smiling he makes his way through to the nursery, brown paper bag in hand.

'Hey... Good day?' Carla asks as Nick walks into the room.

'Mmm... I wouldn't say that. You?' He asks and she nods her head.

'Yeah... Ryan's back.' She replies and he smiles.

'Oh is he? That's good... I brought you some brownies. Do you want one?' He asks holding the bag up.

'I'd love one but I don't have any free hands.' She says glancing down at Freddie who is nursing happily.

'But you do have a wonderful fiancé.' He replies taking a brownie from the bag. He holds it out in front of her and smiles as she leans forward to take a bite.

'What would I do without you, ey?' She mumbles smiling.

'You know after everything that happened with Peter, the cheating and losing my baby girl... I didn't want any of this, I wasn't looking for any of this. I was so sure I was going to be single for the rest of my life... Then you came along.' She says looking up at him.

'Yeah?' He asks and she nods her head.

'You saved me, Nicky Tilsley... You saved me from a lifetime of misery, a lifetime of being alone... You've given me everything I never knew I even wanted.' She replies.

'I love you.' He says.

'I love you too.' She replies.


	2. One Month

**At one month old your baby is getting stronger and may be able to lift his head for a short period of time when held upright. Your baby is also becoming more expressive and may start to coo and gurgle when he sees you.**

'Morning, how long have you been up for?' Nick asks making his way into the living room where Carla is standing staring out the window, Freddie curled up in her arms.

'An hour, maybe two... I don't know. I've lost track of time.' She mumbles turning to face him.

'It's half nine.' He says and she yawns.

'Maybe make that three hours then.' She replies.

'Babe, go back to bed... I'm not in work until twelve so I'll keep an eye on Freddie.' He says and she shakes her head.

'I'm okay. Could you make some breakfast though?' She asks.

'I could or I could go pick us some up from Roy's.' He replies.

'Sounds good... In fact, why don't we all go?' She suggests.

'I don't think we all need to go pick up a few buttys.' He replies causing her to laugh.

'I meant and eat in, silly... Freddie would love to see grandpa Roy, wouldn't you?' She says smiling down at the infant.

'Okay. Sounds like a good idea to me.' He replies.

'I'll go get bubs ready.' She says making her way to the nursery.

* * *

Half an hour later Carla, Nick and Freddie are all dressed, Nick is dressed for work because he's pretty sure they won't come home before he's due to start work. Carla's wearing a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and a black vest top with her leather jacket and Freddie has on the most adorable little Tigger dungaree set with a stripy bodysuit underneath.

'I'll take the pram downstairs, babe... Come down when you're ready.' Nick says as Carla places Freddie in his Moses basket and begins to pull her hair back into a messy bun.

'Okay... I won't be long... Five minutes tops.' She replies smiling as he leaves the flat. She's left her makeup to minimum, just some concealer and foundation to cover up the bags under her eyes from sleep deprivation. After securing her hair up she lifts Freddie into her arms and grabs the baby bag.

'Come on then, little man... Let's go get breakfast.' She says keeping him cradled to her chest as she leaves the flat and locks the door behind her. Slowly making her way downstairs she smiles as she sees Nick has already set up the pram.

After much debate and many hours dragging themselves around all the baby shops they could finally Nick and Carla eventually settled on two prams. Carla had instantly fallen in love with the Silver Cross Sleepover in navy but she knew it wouldn't be possible for her to get the pram and Freddie downstairs on her own so they agreed they'd get that pram but keep it for when Nick wasn't working. They picked out the iCandy Peach 3 in azure for when Carla was on her own.

'You look beautiful.' He says smiling as she gently places Freddie in the pram and tucks a blanket around his little legs.

'Oh shut up... I look like shit.' She replies feeling him wrap his arms around her waist from behind.

'You'll always look beautiful to me... You've got that glow about you.' He says kissing her cheek.

'Glow? What glow?' She asks.

'The glow of being a mother. That smile hasn't left your face in a month.' He replies and she tilts her head so it's resting against his.

'I love you.' She says.

'I love you too.' He replies.

* * *

'I need to head to work... Do you want to come back to the flat and I'll help you upstairs with the pram?' Nick asks as he watches Carla drink the last of her coffee, Freddie resting snuggly against her chest.

'No, I'll figure a way to get it upstairs or else I'll just put it in the car. We're going to go shopping, aren't we Freddie?' Carla replies smiling. She places her empty mug on the table and glances down at her son.

'Are you? Where you planning on going?' He asks and she shrugs.

'Probably just the Trafford Centre. I don't really need anything, just want to get out for a bit.' She replies causing him to smile.

'Well you have fun and don't spend too much money.' He says.

'I won't.' She replies smiling.

'You better get to work or else you're going to be late.' She says and he sighs.

'I know I've been back at work for weeks now but I still don't like leaving the two of you.' He admits.

'We're fine. We can snuggle up on the sofa when you get home tonight.' She says and he smiles.

* * *

'Someone's been busy.' A voice says and Carla turns around coming face to face with Erica and Liz.

'Oh hi... Yeah, went shopping.' Carla replies and Liz smiles.

'We can see that... How's the little man doing?' Liz asks.

'He's good, finally asleep.' Carla replies lifting the carseat up a little higher allowing the older women to get a better view.

'He's beautiful, Carla.' Erica says smiling.

'Thank you.' Carla replies quietly.

'Where are you off to?' Liz asks.

'Just home... Think I'm going to try get a sleep while this little monkey is sleeping.' Carla replies smiling.

'Well we'll let you get upstairs then.' Liz says.

* * *

'Did you have fun with mummy today, hmm?' Nick asks quietly as he lifts Freddie out of his co-sleeper.

'Nick?' Carla mumbles sleepily from her position on the bed.

'Hey... I didn't mean to wake you.' He says sitting down on the edge of the bed with Freddie curled up in his arms.

'What time is it?' She asks.

'Half six.' He replies moving some hair out of her face.

'I never meant to sleep this long.' She admits running her hand across her face.

'You must've needed the sleep. How was your day?' He asks.

'Good. We went shopping, I may have spent more than I intended.' She replies sitting up.

'Ah I see. Did you leave the pram in the car?' He asks and she nods her head.

'Yeah I figured you're off tomorrow so we'll be using it then anyway.' She replies.

* * *

'I've been drooling on you again.' Carla mumbles as her eyes flicker open and she glances up at Nick.

'You have... Freddie's been drooling on you.' He says and she smiles.

'Takes after his mummy in that, I guess.' She replies, her hand resting on Freddie's back as he sleeps on her chest.

'How perfect is this.' She says smiling as Nick kisses the top of her head.

'I'll never get tired of just lying like this with you two.' Nick replies smiling.

'I don't know what I did without you two. I mean, I know he's only one month old but what did we do without Freddie in the house? What did we even do when we weren't parents?' She asks.

'We slept more and didn't smell of sick.' He replies causing her to laugh.

'I missed the movie.' She says as the credits begin to roll on the tv.

'It was rubbish anyway... Go get into bed, I'll be through in a minute.' He says running his fingers through her hair. Slowly standing up with Freddie in her arms she makes her way through to the bedroom and gently places him in the co-sleeper.

'Night, night Freddie...' She whispers kissing Freddie's head as she tucks a blanket around his little body.


End file.
